You know, I don’t get it. I went to the Kick off Party for Nanowrimo last night. I went there straight after work, where i’d been talking to people all day. As I rushed down to the party, I felt a little nervous and I don’t know why. I knew people were excited to see me, but there was still this little pang. It was strange.

I had a lovely time while there. I drank a lot. I think I had three or four Lost in Brooklyns, which were served in pint glasses. So double that, actually. I bought drinks for friends, I met new people, it was quite lovely. I was smashed.

So naturally, it comes as a shock to both myself and you, faithful reader, that I am awake at 9:18 Am, not hung over, not going to work until 1:30, and yet still up and furthermore, writing.

But I’ve been meaning to get back to this blog for a long time and I have a few essay topics swirling in my head.

This one is on prospects. I have male friends who think of every girl they meet as a potential girlfriend. Before getting the chance to know her, before anything else, they think about whether this girl will date them. And it taints the whole thing, honestly. Because if the girl isn’t interested right away, then it will never happen. She gets asked out within two or three times of meeting the guy, is put off by whatever reason she has, and is usually uncomfortable enough around guys who’ve asked her out that the friendship ends.

The lesbian world is smaller. People know people who know people. But that’s not relevant to the discussion at hand. What is relevant is that for a while, I was acting like my guy friends. Any other lesbian I met was a prospect. Was she into me? Was I into her? and the list went on. I don’t know why I was so desperate to define people so quickly. It turned people off. Not everyone has to hook up with me.

But i’ve changed that, and its so refreshing to meet people, talk and share experiences without necessarily thinking about what level of romantic potential there is. I think its unfair to other people and unfair to oneself to only see others in the realm of whether they are potential dates or not. I mean, if something’s going to happen, it will happen anyway. And if not, you have a friend, who’s an actual person that likes you and doesn’t think you’re creepy. That’s a great thing.